"A boy's best friend is his mother." Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates, Psycho

Feb 05 2018

Happy Valentine's Day! Don't marry a psycho. And yes, I know that we've got more than a week to go before the big day, but I want to give you plenty of time to firm up your resolve against any potentially catastrophic proposals. "Will you marry me?" in a crowded, expensive restaurant can turn even the firmest of hell no's into a shaky yes. And if he calls his mom while you're still at the table, then you're stuck faking your own death to get out of it gracefully.

There is no decision you will make in your entire existence that will have a greater impact on your quality of life than who you choose to marry. Don't treat it like an apartment you're renting or a job you can quit. Give this decision the weight it deserves and struggle with it.

Your choice of spouse affects all of your relationships: familial, professional, lifelong friendships and tangential acquaintences will all bear witness to the lunacy you've chosen to bring into your world. If you marry someone who doesn't bat an eyelash at approaching a waiter on a smoke break to tell him that, if he ever offers to grate parmesan on your salad again, he'll break his legs... imagine what someone like that will do if he finds out your boss literally patted you on the back when you landed a big account.

 

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