All Posts Blog: Cinema Snark

"There comes a time in man's search for meaning when one realizes that there are no answers. When you come to that horrible, unavoidable realization, you accept it or you kill yourself. Or you simply stop searching." - John Hurt as The Priest, Jackie

Aug 22 2017
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This cheery piece of wisdom is delivered to Natalie Portman's version of Jackie Kennedy as she's grappling with the trauma of watching her husband's head explode. Jackie is trying to deal with her own grief while also deciding on the most historically appropriate manner of commemorating The President's death for the country. She's never allowed the simple kindness of privately mourning her husband's murder, except the night she spends drinking heavily and staggering around the residence. 

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that." - Douglas Rain as HAL9000, 2001: A Space Odyssey

Jan 03 2014
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First of all, I'd just like to apologize to every man I've ever worked with named Dave for unleashing this line of dialogue at them when they ask me to do something unpleasant. I wasn't the first, I'm sure I wasn't the last, and I'm sorry I annoyed you just because your name was Dave. If it makes you feel any better, be grateful you weren't named Maria, because then I'd have started singing at you. There seems to be a shared mass delusion that the best way to frighten people is to scream at them. Just before Christmas, in fact, I was both entertained and terrified by the way the guy in front of me started bellowing at a bag boy who accidentally stepped in front of him. It didn't matter how many times the poor kid apologized, the man kept shouting about how rude he was and actually started chasing him around the front of the store a little bit, demanding an apology he'd already been given. He even went so far as to offer to take the kid out ...

"Hunger can change everything you ever thought you knew about yourself." - Suraj Sharma as Pi Patel, Life of Pi

Jan 02 2014
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This quote is part of Pi's narration, as he finds himself shipwrecked, out of supplies, and has to break his lifelong habit of vegetarianism in order to survive. Most of us watch movies and imagine ourselves as the protagonist. We sit in the dark and judge the character just as much as we become them. When our hero hesitates, we imagine we would take action without hesitation. When the heroine shows fear, we think we would show courage. When our protagonist buckles under pressure, we believe we would withstand any amount of abuse. In reality, you won't know what you're made of until the moment of crisis itself. The easy part of sitting in the theater and making those judgement calls is that we're blessed with time - time to weigh our options, time to plan our next move, information the characters may not be aware of, and best of all, a way to see how one of those choices plays out without actually having to suffer through the consequences. Once you leave the theater, those ...

"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts." - Peter O'Toole as T. E. Lawrence, "Lawrence of Arabia"

Jan 01 2014
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Peter O'Toole shares this sage wisdom to a young man who is trying to learn the trick of letting a match burn down in his fingertips. When the man seems surprised that the match burned him - shocking, I know - O'Toole manages to avoid rolling his eyes and using the word "Duh" in response. Instead, he takes the high road and imparts a piece of advice that, when you mutter it to yourself at the DMV, will serve the dual purpose of calming you down and frightening the person standing next to you. Many people start off their New Year with Resolutions, also known as Planning To Hate Yourself Later For Shit You Knew You'd Pull. Quite a few of these Lies revolve around physical fitness. I'm going to workout every single day! No, you'll get sick or hurt yourself or have to work late, and you'll miss a day, and you'll Hate Yourself and give up. I'm only going to eat healthy foods! Not likely if you live in the United States, where we put sugar on fruit. I'll never smoke again!  ...

"All this time, I've been waiting." - Kevin Costner as John Dunbar, Dances With Wolves

Jul 10 2013
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"All this time, I've been waiting. Waiting for what? For someone to find me? For Indians to take my horse? To see a buffalo? Since I have arrived at this post, I have been walking on eggs. It has become a bad habit, and I am sick of it... I am through waiting." - Kevin Costner as John Dunbar, Dances With Wolves

It's been a long time - much, much too long - since I've posted and this quote is the perfect explantion for my prolonged absence and abrupt return. I couldn't post because I was recovering from a car accident. Then I was busy teaching. Then I couldn't find the password to log in (someone caring for me after the accident helped 'organize' me & I couldn't find anything for a good 6 months, but she meant well).
But those are all of the justifications for why I haven't posted. What the reason?
I was waiting. Waiting for s...

"All of life's riddles are answered in the movies." - Steve Martin as Davis, Grand Canyon

Oct 31 2011
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"That's part of your problem, you know - you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies." - Steve Martin as Davis, Grand Canyon

    
Some families follow pro sports teams and, through example, teach their children some very interesting curse words. Some families go camping - another fine opportunity to allow your children to overhear you shouting words you wish they didn't know that you know.
    In my family, it was always movies.
    Saturday mornings were spent doing chores, but Saturday afternoons were spent watching Cary Grant or Katherine Hepburn films on the local TV stations. If you stayed home sick from school, you watched movies all day. If one of us went to see a film and was dazzled or moved, we ran home...
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