"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" - Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley, Dr. Strangelove

Jan 15 2018

This one goes out to everyone in Hawaii, everyone who loves someone in Hawaii, everyone who's planning a trip to Hawaii, and that one guy who went to the airport because he thought he could get a flight out of Hawaii before the bomb hit.

 

For about half an hour, thousands of people thought there was a nuclear missile headed straight at them and that the beautiful tropical island they were enjoying was about to become a flaming hellscape of radioactive fallout. 

 

Good news! It didn't happen. Yet.

 

See, Trump and Kim Jong Uh-Oh are still engaging in a pissing match with their respective nuclear arsenals. What's terrifying is how much they're enjoying it. Like two kids who have been sent to the principal's office for fighting, but are still egging each other on. And in this case, there is no principal's office. There is NO ONE out there ready to make these two idiots back down before they blow themselves - and the rest of us - off the face of the planet.

 

We are doomed. Which is a shame, because I've always wanted to see Hawaii.

 

The false alarm was triggered by a worker who had made similar mistakes during previous training exercises. Now, I have a little bet going with myself, and I'll let you in on it if you want a piece of the action: My money says that, when the guy realized his mistake, his first words were: "My bad." It would fall right into line with the rest of modern political history if WWIII was kicked off by some dunderhead who freaked everybody out and then shrugged it off with a "my bad."

 

A guy like that? Belongs in this movie.

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