"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity." - Tim Allen as Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story

Jan 22 2018

This one goes out to that certain actor/writer, who may not be a predator, but Jesus, dude - seriously? Is it possible a self-avowed feminist is really so dense that he can't read a whole slew of social cues including the actual words "I don't want to be pressured into something," or are men so indoctrinated with the idea that women exist solely for your sexual pleasure that you honestly think what you were attempting was some form of seduction?

 

Let me be clear: this is not an Actor problem. This is a Dude problem.

 

The reason so many women read the account of that night and believed it wholeheartedly is the exact reason so many men don't want to believe it: it sounds so very, very familiar. Are there any sexually active adults over the age of 25 that haven't lived through some version of that night? A night during which there's no actual physical force, just an insane amount of pressure to submit to someone else's demands, despite repeated - REPEATED - assertions that you're just not into things going any further?

 

Why are so many dudes - not men, btw, just dudes - not given pause by the lack of enthusiasm? Our culture has been having a massive, public dialogue for almost four months now about consent, but why aren't dudes looking for sexual zeal? Aren't you more turned on by a frenzy of sexual joy than someone who isn't making eye contact and is looking for reasons to keep moving away from you?

 

I truly don't get it. If I was going to bed with someone, I wouldn't just want consent. I would want him so overwhelmed with passion that phrases like "hell yes" and "damn that's good" were coming out of his mouth.

 

If "I don't want to be forced into doing something" sounds like foreplay to you, then yes... you are a sad, strange little man. You have my pity, my disgust, and my complete lack of sympathy.

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