"You don't make up for your sins in a church. You do it in the streets. You do it at home. The rest is bullshit and you know it." Harvey Keitel as Charlie, Mean Streets

Dec 12 2017

To the men who are riding the crest of the wave of sexual misconduct claims, this one goes out to you. 

The pedophiles. The pederasts. The predators. 


You can't apologize your way into forgiveness. Actions speak louder than words, gentlemen. Keeping your hands to yourself is great, but how willing are you to call out other men when you hearing them sharing "locker room talk?" How willing are you to step forward if you see a guy putting something in a woman's drink? If you see some guy grabbing at a woman and ignoring her when she tells him to stop?


And how likely are you to just look away and then walk away?


Years ago, I was living with someone who said all the right things about equality and feminism. He said that fathers should be equal participants in their child's lives. He said there was no such thing as "women's work" and everyone should help out around the house. He said rapists should be castrated and sent to live on a deserted island.


But the night we were lying in bed reading and realized the sudden, loud sounds above us were of our neighbor being beaten by her husband, he refused to even put his book down. He wouldn't go upstairs and knock on the door. He didn't even want me to call the police. Of course, I did anyway, but he was pissed at me for "getting involved in something that was none of our business." 


He's beating her, I said.

It will be over soon, he said.


In a political discussion at a dinner table, he would have been the first to hold forth on how domestic violence is everyone's problem. He would have said that men need to take responsibility and be the solution. He would have said that no woman deserves to be used as some idiot's punching bag.


He had all the right words, but he didn't take any action to back it up. And yes, I thought lesser of him for it.


You don't have to be a rapist to be part of the problem. You don't have to be a child molester to be a coward. And you don't have to be the guy complimenting a woman's cleavage to be the guy creating the hostile work environment.


You just have to be the guy who's too much of a chickenshit to rock the boat.



2018 May  15  3
2018 Apr  5  1
2018 Mar  59  4
2018 Feb  27  4
2018 Jan  31  6
2017 Dec  19  5
2017 Aug  13  1
2016 Apr  26  1
2014 Jan  38  4
2013 Jul  4  1
2011 Nov  6  1

Latest Posts

"A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." - Marlon Brando as Don Corleone, The Godfather
5/21/2018 9:00 PM | Sara Miles
"That's my family, Kay. That's not me." - Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, The Godfather
5/14/2018 5:58 AM | Sara Miles
"Don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again." - Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, The Godfather
5/7/2018 6:08 AM | Sara Miles
"Bugger this for a bunch of bananas." - Rhys Ifans as Spike, Notting Hill
4/2/2018 6:07 PM | Sara Miles
"We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well, and live." Jack Hawkins - as Quintus Arrius, Ben-Hur
3/26/2018 9:01 PM | Sara Miles
"Do not try and bend the spoon - that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself." Rowan Witt as Spoon Boy to Keanu Reeves as Neo, The Matrix
3/19/2018 12:00 AM | Sara Miles
"I tortured her, now she tortures you. Succeed - you get someone of your own to torture." - Fanny Ardant as Irene, Sabrina
3/12/2018 10:49 AM | Sara Miles
"Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around." - Penelope Cruz as Sofia, Vanilla Sky
3/5/2018 12:00 AM | Sara Miles
"That's your problem - you don't wanna be in love. You wanna be in love in a movie." - Rosie O'Donnell as Becky, Sleepless in Seattle
2/26/2018 8:59 PM | Sara Miles
"Words have been invented to describe women like you." - Jack Nicholson to Diane Keaton, Something's Gotta Give
2/19/2018 7:26 AM | Sara Miles